If you’re on Tinder, it’s because you want to get dates. But chances are you’re not getting the results you want.
We surveyed 50,000 guys about their online dating expereince and less than ONE PERCENT, said they were either satisfied or extremely satisfied with their experience.
Outside of not getting enough matches, and not getting responses to their messages the biggest concern guys had was that they weren’t getting enough dates.
This might be the biggest problem of all. Why put all this time and effort into your profile and the messages to have it go nowhere?
Let’s think about how far you’ve already made it.
Past the sea of guys she was swiping through, past the guys who sent her boring messages she couldn’t even respond to, and all the way to the point where the two of you are engaging in a normal conversation.
But you’re not there yet. She’s still not going to meet up with you, and here’s why.
As men, as far as attraction to women is concerned it’s pretty straight forward. We see a women we like and it’s game on. But for women it’s a little bit different. They see a guy they like, and while they might be interested in getting to know him there’s a different process behind it.
Think about this quote on attraction by Chris Shepherd “Attraction for a women is the feeling of being desired by a powerful man she can trust.” (For more on that check out his eBook “Be the Man She Wants”) The essence of this quote is that before you can move the interaction forward, she’s going to have to know that she is desired by a powerful man she can TRUST.
If you want to get more dates online using sites like Tinder, Plenty of Fish, or even just in general, building trust will lead to a more likely meet up.
Think about Tinder, by the time you match you’ve communicated your desire by swiping right on her profile and so has she. Now it’s possible to display power at this point, you will get a better chance to communicate power during the meet up, so for now let’s focus on trust. Because before you can meet her you have to build trust.
Trust is even more important on Tinder because a lot of the time she doesn’t know you, or anything about you out side of your dating profile. So before you can get dates on Tinder, she has to feel safe and know that she can trust you.
Before you get too far ahead of yourself and go for date or meetup, stop and ask a couple questions:
Have you made a strong enough connection with this women? Will she feel comfortable and safe meeting up with you for a date? Is she going to be able to trust you?
Or are you just another guy on a dating app that is repeatedly asked her to “come over” and to meet up with you?
If you answered anything other than Yes, Yes, and No—then chances are you need to build more trust before she will feel comfortable with a meet up.
Think about that before you are ask her on a date.
For more on Tinder, and how to get dates check out these articles: