If you’re still not getting replies on tinder there is probably something missing.
You just matched the perfect girl. Her pictures are stunning, her bio is witty and it gives the impression she has a lot of the same interests as you. As an added bonus her location is near by, meaning it shouldn’t be hard to arrange a meet up if she lives or works around the corner.
PLUS on top of all that she’s interested in you!
Or at least interested enough to swipe right and match with you on the dating app.
This is exactly the type of woman you were hoping to match with when you downloaded the app. But before you can move forward you have to message her.
You don’t want to screw this up, so you type out a couple of rough drafts just to make sure there’s no spelling mistakes and that everything makes sense before you hit send.
You stand back and admire your work, re-reading it for the tenth time.
“Hey what’s up? How’s your Friday night going?”
As the clock ticks on, you don’t get a reply. Maybe she’s busy, it’s Friday night after all she’ll reply in the morning.
But when morning comes there’s still nothing in your inbox. The weekend slips away, and it becomes more apparent you’re not getting replies to this message, or any of the others you sent out.
You made it relevant, you personalized it, and asked a couple questions. You were sure you we’re going to get a reply. What went wrong?
Don’t worry, this is where most matches fizzle out and it happens to tons of guys. We took a poll and sending messages and not getting replies, was one of the biggest reasons guys were unsatisfied with online dating.
So why aren’t you getting replies?
She’s working, she has a social life, maybe she was out of town who knows. There are a million different external reasons that stop you from getting replies to your messages. But the truth is she doesn’t have time to reply to BORING messages.
Why would a high quality woman take time out of her schedule to reply to a message like “Hey how’s it going?”
And more often than not this is why you aren’t getting replies to your messages. Because they’re boring.
On dating apps the risk of getting rejected is almost non-existent for guys. Meaning pretty much everyone she matches with is flooding her inbox with messages asking her the same boring questions.
On top of that, saying “Hey what’s up?” To a busy, high quality woman, doesn’t really make for a fun and interesting conversation no matter what the context is.
What is the best possible outcome from a message like that? At best all she can really do is reply with something like “UHH not much, what about you?”
But there’s good news for guys like you. Guys who are open to changing their approach, and who want to stand out from the crowd.
The good news is that she’s waiting to get an exciting message. She wants a message that’s a little bit different than all the other messages in her inbox. And when she gets it, she’s going to leave the boring messages behind and reply to that message, the one that elicits a positive emotion or feeling.
Any guy who’s spent time in the online dating world knows there’s a long ways to go between the match and the meet up but sending a message that stands out is the first step.
If you want to start getting replies on Tinder, it’s your job to make sure your messages stand out.
Send something with a little more pizzazz and enthusiasm than “Hey what’s up.” Or “How’s your day?” You can’t just send what every other guy is sending and expect her to react differently to you.
You need to stand out from the crowd. Say something more exciting, because until you start sending better messages you can’t expect to start getting replies.
Here’s a video on the three best first messages to send on Tinder.
For more on how to improve your chances at getting replies, check out our other posts on Tinder, and share how you used them for success: